When I was a little kid (a really little kid), I pretty much categorized the Easter Bunny, Jesus, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus into the same group. I mean, it makes sense:
- You can’t see them.
- They are depicted in art and storybooks.
- They bring you goodness in your life whether it be presents or blessings or money or baskets of candy.
- They generally like good more than evil.
- We ask them for things, and expect them to deliver.
Also, they seemed very related to me since…well, Santa Claus was about Christmas, and we celebrated Christmas at the church. And, the Easter Bunny was about Easter, and we celebrated that at church, too (don’t forget the huge annual Easter egg hunt – and what the hell does that have to do with Jesus’s return from death?).
Anyway, there comes a time in every child’s life where they realize that most of these things are elaborate lies made up by our parents just to go along with the crowd or to have a little fun or to con us into “being good.” I’m not knocking that – I loved waking up on Christmas to gifts or getting a $5 for pulling my front tooth. No harm done.
What I don’t understand is why most people continue to also believe in Jesus/God all that jazz.
Let’s compare (from Wikipedia, with my comments in parentheses):
One legend associated with Santa (Jesus/God) says that he lives in the far north (heaven), in a land of perpetual snow (clouds and harp music). The American version of Santa Claus says that he lives at his house in the North Pole (just north of the Pearly Gates), while Father Christmas is often said to reside in the mountains of Korvatunturi in Lapland Province, Finland (heaven). Santa Claus lives with his wife Mrs. Claus (Abraham?), a countless number of magical elves (angels), and eight or nine flying reindeer (more angels). Another legend of Santa says that he makes a list of children throughout the world, categorizing them according to their behavior (“naughty” or “nice”) and that he delivers presents, including toys, candy (blessings, good fortune, answers to prayers, etc.), and other gifts to all of the good boys and girls in the world (Christians/believers/etc.), and sometimes coal (hell, bad fortune, depression, etc.) to the naughty children (non-believers, evil people, atheists, liberals, etc.), on the single night of Christmas Eve (Judgment Day?). He accomplishes this feat with the aid of the elves (angels, disciples, whatever) who make the toys in the workshop (heaven) and the reindeer who pull his sleigh (Holy Spirit?).[4][5]
Okay so hopefully you got through some of my comments above that I’m being somewhat facetious. However, I’m using this to illustrate a very good point:
Beliving this religious stuff is no different than believing in Santa Claus/The Easter Bunny/The Tooth Fairy/etc.
You might say that you talk to God every day and that you feel his presence in your life and stuff, but didn’t you feel the same way as a kid on Christmas, staring at the sky and waiting for Santa to bestow your tree with a plethora of gifts? Didn’t you gradually learn that you didn’t have to be good just to please Santa…and that it was more of just a “good idea to be good” kind of thing? Didn’t you eventually see that all the kids who came from middle-to-upper-class homes generally got Christmas gifts, regardless of whether or not they were “good?” (I would argue that the worst kids often got the best gifts…which sort of points out that having spoiled children is a big problem).
Christians also argue that the Bible is their proof that God exists. I remember sitting through numerous sermons as a child while the preacher discussed how “miraculous” it was that over the course of thousands of years, the Bible was translated over and over with no errors and was the inspired word of God. How the hell do you know? Were you overseeing the translation? And did you pick the European names Mary, Joseph and Jesus for the middle-eastern characters? (No, that would be the Church of England – and the famously homosexual King James).
So no. I do not believe that Jesus was born of a virgin. If that sort of thing were to happen today, Letterman would be making jokes about her, and Planned Parenthood would send her a bag of condoms. And no, I do not believe Jesus died and rose from the dead. I do not believe in a god that sits up in heaven and monitors 6.5 billion people’s actions. And I do not believe that such a loving god would allow so much pain and torture on earth. Finally, I do not believe in hell and I certainly don’t think a good god would send his creation there.
So that is that. I’m out of the closet. Call me an atheist, agnostic, humanist, the “liberal atheist agenda,” whatever you choose. But do not assume I am a bad person because of it. (‘Cause I’m not.) 
Lauren
13 responses so far ↓
dave downing // July 10, 2009 at 6:34 pm |
um, that was like stewie griffin coming out of the closet and letting us all know he was gay. we already had that figured…
otherwise, you’re missing a lot points, making assumptions about others, and as you have been lately, just being the atheist-version-of-the-christians-i-can’t-stand. much of your recent tweets, blogs, etc are coming off as extremely closed minded and egotistical (you right, they’re wrong, period.). Perhaps it pent up agression, or the fact that SLC is wearing on you. But it’s not the Lauren I felt I’ve had real face-to-face conversations with.
Hopefully this angry phase will pass and we can all chat nice (yet meaningfully) again soon.
Jeb Ro // July 10, 2009 at 7:40 pm |
This is ‘Jesus = Santa’ thing is something I’ve thought for quite a while.
We tell our kids when they’re young about all these fictional characters, and they learn one-by-one that they’re just essentially BS you’ve been feeding them. But then when it comes to god and Jesus, we’re all like “oh no, that one wasn’t a lie, they’re totally real.”
I also think that getting your kids to believe in all these mythical characters helps them be better equipped to accept this god hoax. But do you not tell them about Santa, Easter Bunny, Jesus, and the Tooth Fairy? I mean it’s kind of part of the American childhood experience, isn’t it? And it’s probably good for their imaginations. Luckily I don’t plan to have kids, so this won’t really be a quandary for me.
Great post!
Lauren // July 10, 2009 at 8:36 pm |
David–I am sorry you feel that way. On the contrary, I feel like I am finally getting to the point where I can actually say/be who I really am and how I really feel. I’ve also found, through Twitter and other means, that there are many more people who feel the way I do than I ever realized. Perhaps that is why I’ve been more brazen; I feel like I have more people who can understand and engage in conversation about this…and I can be honest about it in return.
I hope you know that I have nothing against you personally, at all. The problem is that I have a very mixed audience both on Twitter and on my blog – both those who love my atheist rants and those who despise them. I’ve learned over the past few weeks that it’s best to just be honest with how I feel instead of trying to please everyone. Otherwise, what’s the point?
In my post above, I was not being mean-spirited at all. I was simply stating that I honestly have NO idea how Christians believe all the stories. It doesn’t matter what religion you are – to me, it’s all a bunch of baloney.
In fact, the other day someone was telling me that they found the Mormon religion to be completely ridiculous, yet they found Protestantism to be acceptable. Seriously? Okay, so Mormonism has Planet Kolob and a prophet who slept with teenagers. But then again, Protestantism has a man who was born of a virgin and could walk on water, etc. People talk about modern-day miracles all the time, but I just don’t see it. I think anyone who believes in miracles fails to realize that horrendous lives that many people in this world live every day.
Again, I don’t mean any ill will. I am just explaining my feelings.
dave downing // July 10, 2009 at 8:50 pm |
funny how life is, you have always felt like you were the minority, not realizing the size of the atheist community. On the other hand, i’ve always felt that i knew far fewer church goers than non-church-goers. (church goer = God believer). There was always the Church out there I heard about doing awful things in the name of Christ, but that wasn’t anything I believed in or related too. I still feel like i tip-toe around church/God subjects sometimes to avoid unintentionally insulting someone.
Perhaps what you and I both need to learn from this is ALWAYS be up front and frank in what you believe and how you feel. But we should NOT reach the point of insulting others. I feel that your post could have been a better bridge of ideas, but instead is serving to divide instead.
However, in the spirit of what I’m typing now, perhaps i’m wrong and a strong, divisive post is what people need to get fired up and start talking. (personally, I usually shy away from commenting on posts like this b/c they often become arguments instead of conversations.)
cheers…
Lori // July 10, 2009 at 10:15 pm |
I almost didn’t comment too b/c I, like Dave, feel like this is almost arguing and that’s not the point. But, I will say this, it’s more extrodinary that the Bible was written over thousands of years by many different authors and it never contradicts itself and has the same theme throughout the whole thing as opposed to the translation thing. You couldn’t find 10 people from different walks of life and different parts of the world today to do that.
Other than that, I don’t think anyone is suprised that you’re an athiest. I thought that was common knowledge. I am suprised that you spend soooo much time trying to disprove a God that you don’t believe exists. What’s the point? How is hurting you for others to believe in Him? I mean, we spread that word of Christ b/c we feel it’s something every person is in NEED of, but I don’t understand why you are so interested in debating it… I mean, do you spend a lot of time trying to disprove Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc to kids?? Or that Buddha was who Buddhists say he was? Something about that Jesus that gets to you, right? Interesting….
Lauren // July 10, 2009 at 11:51 pm |
Ah, Lori! You’ve got me there.
It is true; perhaps I spend too much time arguing it (even Scott thinks this is true). I should get over it. I guess that something about me just felt the need to come out and say it rather than beating around the bush. Some have thought I’m a liberal Christian, some have thought me agnostic, some have thought me Buddhist, whatever.
I guess the one thing that gets on my nerves is that it’s okay for people to tell me “God Bless You” or “I’ll pray for you” or whatever, but I can’t say, “I hope you stop believing in God.” You could say that blessing someone or praying for them doesn’t hurt anybody (and that it probably helps more than anything), but people like me think that religion does more harm than good.
Just sayin’.
dave downing // July 11, 2009 at 5:34 am |
religion does do more harm than good. faith is another matter. i used to wear my bad religion shirt to church all the time (still do sometimes, but it’s getting old). i get all kinds of compliments on it from people that don’t know it’s a band
Lauren // July 11, 2009 at 6:08 am |
Precisely what I’m trying to say – “faith” is fine – and it’s what you have. That’s why I have no problem with it. “Religion” is a different story. I despise it.
The Army Wife // July 11, 2009 at 7:54 pm |
Lauren, I’m with you on this one. I definitely think it could have been argued better, but I find myself leaning more and more towards your direction. And this is coming from a girl who grew up on the Catholic Church.
Lori made an interesting point, that they (Christians) spread “the word” or whatever it is because they think that people NEED it. So, it’s ok for them to do that, but it’s NOT ok for you try and disprove it, or spread that it’s bad because you think that they DON’T need it? Seems very contradictory to me. There are a lot of Christians out there that are very “in your face,” and that seems acceptable. I don’t see why the reverse can’t be acceptable as well. (I believe you wrote a post about this earlier)
But, like I said, I’m quickly moving in the same direction you are. I haven’t seen anything good come from religion in a very long time.
Lauren // July 11, 2009 at 10:50 pm |
Thanks, Brit! You def. got what I was trying to say.
Debi Stuckey // July 13, 2009 at 7:19 pm |
Mom speaking here…I don’t think “Jesus” gets to Lauren as much as the people pushing Jesus get to her. I have a situation where I work: There is Joy (not her real name) in the office across from mine – she is Jewish – always has been and probably always will be. There is Linda (not her real name) down the hall – she is Southern Baptist – she honestly believes she was led to this job by GOD ALMIGHTY to convert Joy to Christianity. Linda has flat out told Joy she is going to spend all of eternity in hell if she stays a Jew!!!!!!!! I personally have a problem with this but I am not as verbal about it as my daughter…I would loose my job if I was. “Joy is a wonderful, giving, compassonate friend whom I love dearly and has NEVER sent the first racist e-mail to me which I find repulsive (unlike “Linda” who again thinks God is commanding her to spread the word about certain ethnic groups). I don’t say anything about the racist e-mails that “Linda” sends me because she is the “good christian” in our workplace. But, I am offended by them.
I NEVER liked participatiing in the rituals of the Easter Bunny, Santa, tooth fairy..etc. because I felt it was such a lie to lead ones child to believe something so utterly rediculious just to have to tell them at some point it was all make believe. And lets not forget to dress up like goblins and gouls at Halloween…..Our entire city closes down for that special celebration. (that is a debate for another blog). My point is, I always tried to make Christmas about the spirit of giving while 99% of our “church family” made it about “getting”. It was very hard rearing children to have less under the tree and more in their hearts. I vividly remember how kids in our community and church looked down on us because we were too poor to spend a ton of money on the kids at Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The experiences that Lauren and I both encountered with our various church families led us to the point we are in our spiritual lives. If you weren’t along on the same ride with us, you just wouldn’t understand.
Lauren // July 13, 2009 at 7:57 pm |
Hmmm…it’s really all just marketing, isn’t it?
Brian // August 13, 2009 at 4:00 pm |
I recently deconverted from the faith. And now that I’m out, the argument people throw at atheists simultaneously amuse and hack me off. First of all the whole “the Bible was written over thousands of years by many different authors and it never contradicts itself and has the same theme throughout” thing is patently absurd and has been proved as much over and over. I highly recommend for anybody, Christian or atheist, to check out Bart Ehrman’s book “Jesus Interrupted” which addresses some of the more glaring contradictions.
Also the whole, “Why do you fight against a god you claim doesn’t exist” argument just infuriates me. True, we don’t spend time and energy trying to convince people that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and unicorns don’t exist. Then again, believers in Santa Claus aren’t trying to tell my two gay friends they can’t get married. Believers in unicorns aren’t trying to wedge their mythic creatures into my kids’ science class. And no Easter Bunny followers are trying to scare little kids with a horror story that says they and all their family members will be tortured forever if they don’t believe. So yes, I will actively fight against the harmful aspects of belief.
Also, if you are interested, here is my deconversion story: http://tinyurl.com/lehy4x